30th March 2020

Detecting Infidelity – Is Your Partner Cheating on You?

Trust is usually an indispensable foundation upon which relationships are built. But what if this trust is shaken and the life you have built together suddenly seems on the verge of collapsing?

 

Infidelity is one of the most common causes of separation worldwide. Numerous studies on the subject agree on this point, even though their figures vary greatly (particularly depending on the study’s purpose, as well as the age, number and origin of the participants). Yet one old cliché is consistently confirmed: men cheat more often than women. In a German study from 2018, one in four male respondents admitted to having cheated on at least one of their partners – among women, only one in eight confessed to such an affair.

 

The differences between countries are striking. In southern European nations such as Italy, Spain and France, more than 50 per cent of men surveyed regularly admit to having been unfaithful at least once. The figures for women are consistently much lower. However, this statistical phenomenon is unlikely to reflect reality – neither from the experience of our infidelity investigators in Stuttgart (+49 711 7153 0028) nor with regard to general population distribution.

Unreliable Statistics Owing to Pronounced Gender Variance in the Social Stigmatisation of Infidelity

Around one fifth of Germans live alone; yet it is statistically difficult to determine how many of these single households are actually occupied by people without a relationship. Especially younger and older people often live alone despite being in relationships: trainees, students and newly partnered widows and widowers. Within the group of single households, the gender distribution is approximately balanced. The large variations between men and women in response to whether they have ever been unfaithful could be explained by the fact that there are extreme differences in the number of sexual partners among women. For where else, one might ask, do all the single women come from with whom partnered men have affairs? Another – and probably more accurate – explanation, however, is that both sexes provide false statements in opposite directions because the social stigma of infidelity is perceived very differently between men and women.

 

Unfaithful men are often proud of their extramarital relationships, frequently discussing them openly with friends and expecting approval or admiration. With this trophy mentality in mind, some male respondents will have admitted to infidelity of which they were never actually guilty. Women who cheat on their partners, on the other hand, still face much more negative social consequences in twenty-first-century Central Europe, which can even affect their professional lives. And this despite the fact that such moral condemnation stems from late antique to medieval (Christian) morality, whose fundamental flaws have been evident at least since the Age of Enlightenment – and yet stubbornly persist to this day. Accordingly, many women are far more reticent to discuss this subject.

 

Taken together, this results in a statistical phenomenon that neither reflects the gender distribution of clients of our Stuttgart detectives nor of the subjects under investigation or the results of our enquiries. We are inclined to conclude: the statistical phenomenon has no equivalent in reality. In other words, men and women are unfaithful about equally often.

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Opinions on monogamy are deeply divided. Undoubtedly, it is a social construct that does not correspond to human sexual biology. Yet trust and emotional security are likewise among our basic human needs.

Guide for Doubtful Partners: The First Signs of Infidelity

Suppose you personally doubt your partner’s fidelity. Betrayal of the relationship is therefore not yet a confirmed fact but merely a troubling suspicion. How should you proceed? As a detective agency with extensive experience in cases of infidelity, it would be natural for Kurtz Private Detective Agency Stuttgart to advise you to contact us straight away. However, we have certain moral as well as legal duties of care towards suspected partners who – in the event of a case – become what we call “subjects of investigation”. There are few detectives who take pleasure in failed relationships or who enjoy subjecting someone to extensive surveillance when there are no indications that the observed person has done anything wrong. Therefore, before contacting our private investigators in Stuttgart, we recommend that you check whether your uneasy feeling can be supported by specific, identifiable signs (see next section).

 

You should also refrain from making hasty accusations, which may quickly be dismissed as baseless jealousy, before you can present concrete evidence or at least tangible clues. Some critical cases of lost trust can be saved with the help of relationship experts such as Boris Bergmann, a social psychologist who offers support on his website for repairing broken love. Yet before the situation escalates to the point of making serious and potentially relationship-damaging allegations, it is usually wiser to gain certainty first.

Ask yourself whether the following signs apply to your partner:

 

  1. Your partner’s phone and laptop have suddenly become off-limits to you.
  2. He or she leaves the room to take calls and even takes the phone into the bathroom.
  3. Your partner has lost interest in affection, and your sex life has become less frequent and passionate.
  4. Your partner spends unusually long periods of time away from home and gives dubious explanations for it.
  5. It no longer bothers your partner if you have little time for them or even travel alone for a while.
  6. Your partner’s appearance has suddenly become much more important; he or she spends considerable time on grooming and personal care.

 

If one, several or all of these signs apply, yet you are afraid of destroying your relationship with a premature accusation, professional assistance from the private investigators of Kurtz Detective Agency Stuttgart can help you to dispel your fears – or at least provide the clarity you long for: +49 711 7153 0028.

 

Note

Kurtz Detective Agency Stuttgart does not guarantee the accuracy or applicability of information found on linked third-party websites.

Editor: Patrick Kurtz

 

Kurtz Detective Agency Stuttgart | Germany

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D-70173 Stuttgart

Tel.: +49 711 7153 0028

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